Trading Heartache for Hope
|
|
|
|
Today's inspiration comes from:
|
|
|
|
|
Today's inspiration comes from:
|
|
|
|
|
Not long ago, I was speaking at a large church in Austin, Texas about the reality of complicated families. I asked the audience a simple question: “How many of you would say your family is not complicated?” Do you know how many hands went up? Not a single one. While the degree of complexity may vary, the truth is, most of us navigate some level of dysfunction or unhealthy patterns in our families.
Personally, I can identify with Disney’s Lilo and Stitch. “This is my family, it may be small, it may be broken but it’s still good, yeah, it’s still good.”
When it comes to our adult children who have strayed from our values or faith, there may be few heartaches that cut as deeply. And yet, even here, it is possible to turn heartache into hope.
If you are the parent of an adult child who has strayed from your values or faith, you pray, you hope, you pray again and sometimes it doesn’t get better. This was the child you once held in your arms—the one you played with them and dreamed for. You weren’t a perfect parent—none of us are—but you loved them well. And now, you find yourself carrying the weight of their choices, feeling the deep ache of watching it all unfold.
It is natural that we place blame on ourselves. Parents often carry an overwhelming amount of shame, grief, confusion, and anger, sometimes mixed in with joy. Most of the time, your adult child’s behavior is not about your parenting, but we are quick to blame ourselves:
- We were too strict
- We were too lenient
- We should have prayed more
- It is because of the divorce
- The list goes on
I do believe there is hope and in the midst of pain and uncertainty, we can find a healthier, more peaceful way forward for our families.
|
|
|
|
You are not alone. God is still at work and in control. He continues to move in your life and in your adult child’s life.
|
You are not alone. God is still at work and in control. He continues to move in your life and in your adult child’s life.
|
|
|
|
Let me share a few key ideas from the beginning of my book, When Your Adult Child Strays: Trading Heartache for Hope.
- Stay in their story. You are in it for the long run. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. You can agree to disagree and still be a safe and sane voice in their world. If their life is a mess, remember God’s okay with messes.
- Build a circle of support in your life. You don’t need a lot of people, but you do need some replenishing relationships to give you hope. Most people don’t have a circle of support in place.
- Mentors (Do you have mentors in parenting and marriage or singleness?)
- Peer Influence and Support (I’ve been in a small group for 24 years. I’m a better husband, father, and Christian because of a weekly Tuesday morning meeting)
- Health Care – Are you getting the proper health care you need?
- Counselor Care The Bible says, “Where there is no counsel a people fall and in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
- Family - Is there a family member who will come alongside you?
- Pastoral care and church
- Create a “welcome mat” culture. Change happens when there is relationship and safety in with your adult children. Building a welcome mat doesn’t mean you need to agree or walk on eggshells. It means leading with love, practicing kindness, and keeping the door open even when you disagree.
- Remember – you are not alone. If you are struggling, you are not alone, there are millions of other parents in the same boat. It’s not easy, but you are not the first to walk this path. In my experience, parents of straying adult kids who lean on the comfort of God find greater strength. He may not remove every negative circumstance, but He faithfully walks with us through our journey, no matter what happens along the way.
|
When Your Adult Child Strays
|
Here are a few promises from the mouth of God that you can count on:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. — Psalms 34:18
Be strong and do not give up. — 2 Chronicles 15:7
And that is good news.
Nobody said this journey would be easy. But together, we can find hope.
- My friends Terry and Rebecca never gave up. It was not easy, but they stayed in the story. Their daughter is 40 months sober after dropping out of three rehabs.
- It took Eric 15 years to come home. His parents relied on a strong support system that helped carry them through—and today, they would say it was worth it.
- When Madison struggled with gender confusion, her parents developed a welcome mat culture even while disagreeing with so many of her decisions. The welcome mat mentality brought her back to a healthy relationship with them and a healthy relationship with God.
You are not alone. God is still at work and in control. He continues to move in your life and in your adult child’s life. I love the words of the prophet Jeremiah:
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
You can trade heartache for hope. God will be with you every step of the way. You’ve got this.
|
|
|
|
If your kids have gotten a little loose in the turns or if they’ve strayed way off the path of faith in Jesus and living rightly, you are not alone! There’s reason to hang on because Jesus is still on His throne. Give your heartache to Him and grab onto hope!
~ Devotionals Daily
|
|
|
|
In the midst of uncertainty, you can trade heartache for hope
|
When Your Adult Child Strays: Trading Heartache for Hope
|
|
|
|
Buy More, Save More! 📚
Take $5 off orders of $35+ with code GET5
$10 off orders of $50+ with code GET10
|
No matter what comes between you and your adult child, you can still foster a strong relationship.
In his 2019 bestseller, Doing Life with Your Adult Children, author, speaker, and podcaster Jim Burns gave hopeful encouragement on how to navigate the tough yet rewarding transition to parenting adult children. Now in When Your Adult Child Strays, Jim takes it one step further, giving practical advice on key areas of conflict and ways to foster a strong relationship with your adult child.
Parents are often stunned when their children reach adulthood and disregard the values, practices, and faith commitments they were raised with. Whether these differences are over church, politics, sexuality and gender, addiction, or another issue, parents struggle to know what went wrong.
But there's good news: In the midst of uncertainty, you can trade heartache for hope. As a trusted expert on family, parenting, and marriage, Jim will help you:
- Rebuild trust with an adult child who has rejected your traditions
- Lower your emotional reactivity in heated conversations
- Learn how to validate your adult child's feelings without trying to be right
- Move from advice giver to mentor
- Understand the differences between Nomads, Prodigals, and Exiles
- Avoid being defined by your adult child's choices
|
|
|
|
Buy More, Save More! 📚
Take $5 off orders of $35+ with code GET5
$10 off orders of $50+ with code GET10
|
|
|
|
Finding Joy in the Empty Nest
|
|
|
Doing Life with Your Adult Children
|
|
|
|
Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children
|
|
|
|
|
The Lie You Don't Know You Believe
Online Bible Study
|
The Lie You Don't Know You Believe Online Bible Study
|
Are you burdened by a quiet voice that says you're helpless, unlovable, or worthless?
In The Lie You Don't Know You Believe Bible study, Jennie Allen defines the three core lies that distort our identities and influence our decisions. Journey with her into Matthew chapter 4, where Jesus faced the enemy’s temptations and revealed a decisive truth: God’s Word holds the power to silence every lie that comes against us.
Join The Lie You Don't Know You Believe Online Bible Study and get access to six teaching videos and other helpful tools—all FREE when you sign up!
|
|
|
|
this devotion with someone who needs it today
|
|
|
|
*Sale price ends on 05/31/26 at 11:59 PM.
*Offers valid until May 20, 2026, at 11:59 p.m. CST or while supplies last. Offer valid online and by phone only. Shipping, gift cards, or customization of products does not qualify towards minimum purchase requirements. Receive $5 off $35+ with code GET5 at checkout or $10 off $50+ with code GET10 at checkout. Offer only available to customers in the United States age 18 and older. To redeem offer, enter promo code during online checkout or provide the code to a representative during phone orders. Cannot be redeemed for cash or combined with any other discount offer. FaithGateway reserves the right to de-activate the promo code in the event of fraud or technical issues and limit quantities of individual items eligible for purchase with this discount. Void where prohibited, taxed or restricted by law. Not valid for resale.
|
|
|
|
|
No comments:
Post a Comment