A world away.
And yet, I felt more at peace than I had ever before in my life.
Not because everything was okay. Not because I had answers. But because I leaned on Scripture and was falling more in tune with the Holy Spirit and more in love with Jesus every day of that trip.
When I was in college, my mom's cancer returned. This time, I followed my parents to the hospital on the day of her surgery. While we waited, I read Psalms to my dad. The Scriptures steadied us both.
I wish I could say the unity I felt with the Spirit during both of my mom's cancer bouts calmed any future fears or worries, but that simply hasn't been the case.
Especially after becoming a mother myself, I carried the fear of: What if this happens to me too?
So, I’ve done all the things: The screenings. The appointments. And, when needed, the biopsies.
In fact, I had another one just a few weeks ago. But this time felt different.
Instead of bracing myself for the worst or waiting for the next shoe to drop, I felt that same kind of quiet peace that I felt all those years ago, as a young woman in her late teens and early 20s.
Part of that might be because this isn’t my first rodeo.
But I think it’s mostly because, 45 years into this life, I’m finally learning something I’ve heard for years—but am just now beginning to truly live:
Worrying doesn’t add a single hour to our lives (Matthew 6:27). It only steals the peace God is offering us right now. So instead of spiraling, I’ve been choosing something different.
When I’m waiting—on test results, job decisions, or anything uncertain—I choose a Scripture to meditate on.
A few weeks ago, while waiting on the results of my biopsy (which, by the way, was benign 🙌), I kept coming back to Proverbs 3:5–6:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
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