what I realized about "rest" before my 50th birthday ~ OKECHUKWUVITUSS

Jaime Guthals

Hi friends,

Today, I turn 50.

And if I'm being completely honest… I'm coming into this birthday feeling a little more tired than triumphant.

It's been one of those months— the kind where I've been trying to hold everything together. Where there are a hundred things to carry, a hundred things to fix, and I haven't made enough space to be with Jesus.

Somewhere along the way, without even realizing it, I slipped back into something that feels all too familiar:

Trying to do it all on my own.

Trying to be strong at work, loving to my kids, faithful to my spouse… and feeling exhausted.

And then I read something from Megan Fate Marshman's Relaxed—and it honestly stopped me in my tracks.

Because it named exactly what I was feeling… and something deeper I didn't even want to admit:

That I've been living like everything depends on me.

That I've been relying on myself more than I've been resting in Jesus.

Even for my birthday, I had this grand idea that what I needed was a personal day at the spa.... alone... more "ME time".

And honestly? I had been looking forward to it all month long.

But over the last few days… something shifted in me.

I started to feel this quiet conviction I couldn't shake: I knew that it wouldn't give me the peace I was chasing. What I really needed was to simply spend more time with Jesus.

Friends, I don't know exactly what this season looks like for you. But I do know this: I don't want to keep living weary.

And I don't want to keep trying to follow Jesus… without actually being with Him.

So for my 50th birthday, and for this bright beautiful year ahead, I'm choosing something different.

I'm choosing to slow down.

To come back to Him.

To learn—again—what it really means to live out Proverbs 3:5–6, the verses we'll be studying in the Relaxed Online Bible Study with Megan:

To trust in the Lord with all my heart…

and stop leaning on my own understanding.

We're starting the Relaxed Online Bible Study this April 20th, and it's not about trying harder or adding more to your plate. It's about learning how to:

stop carrying what God never asked you to carry
let go of the pressure to figure everything out
and learning to live more relaxed, like Jesus, the one who lived in complete dependence on His Father and wasn't worried about a thing.

If your heart feels even a little like mine does right now and you want to experience a more peaceful, dependent, relational faith… I think this might be for you too. I hope you will join us for Relaxed!

With you,

Jaime