The Meaning and Cost of Hospitality |
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There's a scene at the beginning of The Hobbit where a group of dwarves overruns the home of the protagonist hobbit, Bilbo Baggins. Bilbo had sort of reluctantly — and mistakenly — invited the wizard, Gandalf, to tea one day. But when Bilbo answered the door, an uninvited dwarf stood there instead. Bilbo didn't quite know what to do. He let in the dwarf, and the dwarf quite quickly made himself at home. Then there was another, even louder, ring at the door. Another dwarf stepped in, uninvited, but acting like he was meant to be there all along. The second dwarf asked for beer and cake, and then to Bilbo's surprise, more dwarves rang the bell and entered. Then more and more, until thirteen dwarves, along with the wizard, ended up descending on Bilbo's house asking for coffee and red wine and pork pie and salad and cakes and eggs. "By the time [Bilbo] had got all the bottles and dishes and knives and forks and glasses and plates and spoons and things piled up on big trays, he was getting very hot, and red in the face, and annoyed."1 In our neighborhood, there's a group of kids who run around from house to house, playing kickball and raiding pantries and eating at whatever home they land at around mealtime. It's what I dreamed of for my kids. But even though I want my home to be filled with that joyful chaos, sometimes when it's my pantry and my food and my floors that get messier, I'm tempted to react more like Bilbo — red in the face and annoyed. I'm happy to show hospitality when I can plan ahead and the house isn't destroyed and I still have food left. I want the kind of hospitality I have control over. But controlled hospitality can be a selfish version of the welcome we're meant to show. After ten years, four kids, and a rescue dog, I've learned a thing or two about spills. I've learned which carpet cleaners are best and that purchasing a carpet shampooer is 100 percent worth it. I've learned that school-age kids can put Tolkien's dwarves to shame in an eating contest, the pile of shoes by the front door is a beautiful sight, and it's important to keep allergy-friendly snacks on hand so no kid feels left out. I've also learned, as Tim Chester once wrote, that "hospitality will lead to collateral damage." "Food will be spilled on your carpet," Chester continued. "You'll be left with clearing up. Your pantry may be decimated. But remember that God is welcoming you into His home through the blood of His own Son. The hospitality of God embodied in the table fellowship of Jesus is a celebration and sign of His grace and generosity. And we're to imitate that generosity."2 |
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Hospitality often looks like inviting messy, imperfect people into your messy, imperfect life — and loving one another anyway.
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Hospitality often looks like inviting messy, imperfect people into your messy, imperfect life — and loving one another anyway.
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I wish I had read those words before my niece spilled red wine on my dining room carpet. Maybe I would have handled that situation better. I should have looked her in the eyes and said, without hesitation, "It's just a carpet." Because hospitality doesn't always look like relaxing dinner parties or serene coffee dates. More often, it looks like inviting messy, imperfect people into your messy, imperfect life — and loving one another anyway. It means rifling through the refrigerator to feed the needs of those in front of you and then seeing the pile of dirty dishes as a sign of time well spent. It's about providing a place where people can take a breath, where they can pull up a chair and know, no matter what, they are welcome there. Understanding the meaning — and the cost — of hospitality frees me to accept and extend grace in a way I'm not naturally inclined to do. No matter how much I try to control, no matter how good of a guest I try to be, no matter how much I plan and prepare as a host, glasses will break and drinks will be spilled and kids will never have their fill of snacks. Collateral damage comes with the gig. I can spend my energy taking a mental inventory of the messes and losses while gritting my teeth in frustration, or I can grab the carpet cleaner and restock the snack drawer, offering the grace and spirit of welcome that's been generously offered to me. * No-Bake Oatmeal Snack Bites, Two Ways I often have a stash of these bites in my refrigerator or freezer to feed whatever hungry kids come through the door — or to grab when I need a little sustenance on the go. Feel free to mix and match with other ingredients, such as subbing in dried cherries for the cranberries or using cashew butter instead of almond butter. They're an easy make-ahead snack that helps me feel (slightly more) prepared for impromptu hospitality. Recipe from You're in Good Company EACH RECIPE MAKES ABOUT 24 BITES Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Snack Bites 2 cups rolled oats 1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter 3/4 cup mini chocolate chips 1/4 cup honey 1/4 cup chia seeds 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt (plus more to taste) Cranberry Almond Snack Bites 2 cups rolled oats 1 1/2 cups almond butter 1 cup dried cranberries 1/4 cup maple syrup 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/4 cup wheat germ 1/4 teaspoon almond extract 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt (plus more to taste) - Choose which snack bite recipe you'd like to make. Then, in a large bowl, mix together all the ingredients for that version. Add additional salt to taste.
- Form into 1 1/2-inch balls and line them up on a baking sheet. (Pro tip: Sometimes the dough can be a little easier to work with if you let the mixture sit for a few minutes after mixing, then shape the bites with slightly wet hands.) Move the baking sheet to the refrigerator and refrigerate the bites until hardened, about an hour.
- Serve immediately or transfer to a container and store in the refrigerator for about a week. Alternatively, you can keep the snack bites in an airtight container in the freezer for several months.
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Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. — Hebrews 13:2 Whether or not you have the gift of hospitality, you can intentionally create "a place where people can take a breath, where they can pull up a chair and know, no matter what, they are welcome there." Your home can be a refuge for others whenever you open the door! What a wonderful way to show the love of Jesus to those around us. ~ Devotionals Daily |
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The Gift of Friendship, Motherhood, and Showing Up |
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FREE SHIPPING WITH CODE 10DAYS |
Find the community your soul craves when you learn to practice the imperfect kind of hospitality that grows real friendships. You're in Good Company, by Ashlee Gadd and the writers of Coffee + Crumbs, is a heartfelt collection of stories celebrating the unique roles that friendship, food, and hospitality play within the context of motherhood. They say it takes a village to raise a child—but how do you build community in a world that feels too busy, too lonely, and too polished? |
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Through captivating and honest essays, You're in Good Company invites you to rediscover what hospitality can look like in a rushed and increasingly isolated world. Forget fancy dinner parties. Showing up looks like folding laundry together, sharing soup on the porch, crying on hikes, and laughing around the fire pit. These are real stories from real moms, offering encouragement to open your door, your heart, and your life—even when things feel messy. This book will help you discover: - Deeper connections, richer friendships, and a more engaged sense of community
- Tangible examples of creating sacred, memorable moments in the midst of a busy life
- Encouragement to approach hospitality through a lens of faith, love, and belonging
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