Friendship as the Basis for Romantic Relationships |
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. — 1 Corinthians 13:4–5 Rethinking the "Friend Zone" Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that being in the "friend zone" is a bad thing — as if it's some kind of romantic purgatory where attraction goes to die. Take a moment to think about your own life. Were you taught to prioritize passion in romantic relationships over friendship? Did (or do) you believe that once you enter the "friend zone," you were just stuck there? What if we've been looking at it all wrong? What if friendship isn't the roadblock to love but the foundation of it? The truth is that the strongest relationships are built on genuine connection first. Friendship and Romance Were Never Meant to Be Separate As kids, we never separated friendship from romance. But somewhere between our first crush and our first heartbreak, we started treating them like two different things. But I'm here to tell you that we can reverse this pattern. We can put friendship first. We need to. It is in this space of nonperformative authenticity, unadulterated acceptance, and genuine care for each other that enduring love breaches through the confines of time and expectations that sometimes aren't even fair. Why Friendship Strengthens Love I was raised to believe that friends can't be your partners, and your partners can't be your friends. But I've learned that the love stories built on friendship are the ones that stand the test of time. Now, we say we want our partner as our best friend, but sometimes we don't really accept their full authenticity. Even when we declare that our partner is our "best friend," we are afraid of them being their most honest and authentic selves at the risk of our own vulnerabilities. If my best friend told me my breath stinks, I'd laugh, pop in a stick of gum, and keep it moving. But if my girlfriend told me? I'd overthink it. Suddenly, it's a big deal. And when friendship takes a back seat, honesty starts to feel like criticism instead of care. It's a small example, sure, but imagine when you're dealing with the big stuff. Might as well purchase a protective shield from an armory, 'cuz those words are going to hurt. But they don't need to! And they won't, so long as we start to prioritize friendship and make it the foundation of every romance. |
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Love is patient, love is kind... |
Love is patient, love is kind... |
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Friendship as a Shield Against Life's Challenges Look, I'm not saying it's easy. But if we want to shift the trajectory of divorce, we have to try. Friendship is a far stronger companion than romance when life throws its less pleasant darts — those challenges that pierce through the joys that first brought you together. Friendship fosters a commitment to fight through life's battles together rather than apart. Even when the truths we need to say — or hear — are uncomfortable and, at times, temporarily painful. Think of 1 Corinthians 13:4–5: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. You can replace love with friendship and the passage remains true. The Beauty of Friendship in Relationships When a relationship is rooted in friendship, we know that nothing shared is meant to harm. It allows us to approach tough conversations with a solution-oriented mindset instead of an offended one. We understand our friend's heart, which means we know how to nurture it and protect it at the same time. That's the beauty of friendship — it gives us the foundation and fortitude to navigate life's ups and downs gracefully. Empathy and Grace Through Friendship In a relationship built on friendship, mistakes are less likely to be seen as attacks and more likely to be viewed as human error. Friendship fosters the ability to give the benefit of the doubt. Instead of assuming their partner is being inconsiderate, the individual might think, They've had a long day. Maybe they forgot or didn't realize how much this means to me. This mindset not only prevents the situation from escalating but also creates space for understanding and empathy. Teamwork Over Blame Beyond communication, friendship also encourages teamwork. If one partner consistently struggles with a task, the other might step in to help find solutions rather than letting frustration fester. For instance, if remembering chores is the issue, they might suggest setting reminders or creating a shared task list or switching tasks altogether. Instead of each person focusing on the problem and why it frustrates them, they focus on solving it together. This shifts the dynamic from blame to collaboration, reinforcing the sense that they are partners working toward the same goals. Thriving Together Through Friendship It's not just about surviving together — it's about thriving together, built on a foundation of friendship that makes everything else possible. So here's my question for you: How are you showing up in your relationships? Are you fostering the kind of connections that stand the test of time? Because in the end, the most enduring bonds aren't built on grand gestures or passing passion — they're forged in the quiet, steady rhythms of friendship. And that's where the greatest love stories begin. Lord, help us build relationships rooted in friendship, where love grows through patience, kindness, and authenticity. Amen. |
Written for Devotionals Daily by Laterras R Whitfield, author of Student of Love. * |
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What if treating your spouse as your best friend turned out to be the best way to put 1 Corinthians 13:4–5 into practice? What if every relationship in your life could be improved and deepened by employing these verses in a fresh and new way? ~ Devotionals Daily |
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Your Guide to Discover, Uncover, and Recover Healthy Relationships |
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Love isn't about finding the right person—it's about becoming the right person. No matter your relationships status—single, dating, engaged, married, or divorced—Student of Love invites you back into the classroom to learn what it truly takes to build healthy, loving and long-lasting relationships. From Laterras R. Whitfield, the host of the Dear Future Wifey Podcast and widely regarded as "The Relationship Whisperer," comes an essential guide packed with refreshing wisdom and heartfelt lessons designed to equip you to make the right decisions in all your relationships. In a world fixated on finding love, Student of Love shifts the focus to becoming love—offering raw, relatable lessons and hopeful perspectives that resonate with healing, growth, and self-discovery. |
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Your Love Story Isn't Over |
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Emotionally Healthy Relationships Day by Day |
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| Good Boundaries and Goodbyes |
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In the Footsteps of the Savior Online Bible Study |
In the Footsteps of the Savior Online Bible Study |
Walk where Jesus walked! In In the Footsteps of the Savior with Max Lucado, get ready for adventure through some of the most prominent cities, towns, and locations in the New Testament. Filmed on location in Israel, this study invites you to experience the stories of the Bible like never before. By studying these events and locations, we can connect with Jesus in a brand-new way. The Holy Land is waiting for you. Will you join us? Join In the Footsteps of the Savior Online Bible Study and get access to six teaching videos and other helpful tools—all FREE when you sign up! | |
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this devotion with someone who needs it today |
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