Read: Genesis 37 When Jacob learned of his beloved son Joseph's (supposed) death, he did five striking things in response to his grief: he tore his clothes; he put on sackcloth; he mourned many days; he wept; he refused to be comforted. Our tendency might be to dismiss some of his reactions as culturally different, unusual. These reactions to grief, however, were common in ancient Near Eastern cultures. After observing our culture, I wonder if we might learn something from Jacob about facing grief. We have intriguing expressions in American culture about showing grief and other strong emotions. They include "falling apart," "losing it," and "breaking down." We also assign emotions to either positive or negative categories. We place grief in the latter. Our language constructs our perception of grief and our preference for turning from grief rather than facing it. I remember visitation at the funeral home following the death of my younger brother, Dick. When my friend John C. came through the line, he hugged me and I wept. Later, someone who had observed my reaction described it as "Dave lost it." After hearing this, I didn't want to make others feel uncomfortable, so I chose to hide my grief. I got the cultural message and let it shape my response to my grief. - What messages have others given you about grief? How did they affect you?
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What if expressing grief is actually "coming together" rather than "falling apart"? |
What if expressing grief is actually "coming together" rather than "falling apart"? |
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In Dr. James Pennebaker's book Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotion,1 he cites several studies which indicate that we gain protection against harmful internal stress when we express emotions. We also gain the long-term benefits of decreased risks of future diseases and increased health in our immune system. Jacob not only faced his grief but also embraced it. He put on sackcloth — a culturally accepted way of expressing grief — which was typically coarse black cloth made of goat's hair, much like wearing black in some cultures today. He wept and he mourned; he became a person who was acquainted with the pain of grief. Jesus is also "a man of suffering, and familiar with pain" (Isaiah 53:3) — or as the King James Version puts it, "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief." He wept when His friend Lazarus died. God wants to develop the heart of Jesus, a man of sorrows, in us. What if not facing and embracing our grief means we are resisting this development? - What if expressing grief is actually "coming together" rather than "falling apart" — our heart and spirit coming together with our body?
Dear Jesus, I choose to trust You. Form Your heart in mine. Amen. ~Dave Beach |
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- James W. Pennebaker, Opening Up (New York: Guilford, 1990), 34.
Excerpted with permission from When Grief Goes Deep edited by Timothy J. Beals, copyright Zondervan. * |
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Have your learned from others not to express your grief? How would your relationship with God, your relationship with others, and your emotional health change if instead of stuffing the pain you let it flow? God never meant for us to be relentlessly stoic. Jesus wept. So should we. ~ Devotionals Daily |
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Bring your heart, hurt, and hopes to the God who understands |
When Grief Goes Deep: Where Healing Begins |
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When you're going through a season of grief, it's hard to fathom that there will be a day when you won't be hurting. Throughout Scripture we are taught to humble ourselves and love one another because empathy is born from loving our neighbor. If you've ever experienced loss, you're able to help others turn their grief into grace and create hope and purpose from what feels devastating and heartbreaking. When Grief Goes Deep, Where Healing Begins is a devotional that helps those mourning: - build from "lasts," those cherished memories of your life with your loved one.
- remember that they're not alone.
- understand that it's okay to be sad and learn how to process feelings in a healthy way.
The collection of devotions and prayers in When Grief Goes Deep warmly offers inspiration and hope based in God's Word and his promises to those who have experienced loss. Each devotion includes a Scripture verse and a prayer for healing. |
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What Our Readers Are Saying |
"Wow! I can't say enough about this book. Such insight for those of us who have dealt with tragedy and loss. This book deserves ten stars, if not more! Thank you!" — Nancy P. |
"This book is a helpful resource to pass on to people who have lost a loved one. It is easy to read. Filled with Scripture. Meaningful and full of relatable stories." — Ralph G. |
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Do you ever feel like many of the people in your life don't understand the unique challenges you face as someone walking through grief? God knows your heart. He knows your grief. He sees you and cares more deeply than you could ever understand. He also has something to say to you about what you're going through. Each devotional in this collection is written by someone who has been confronted by the challenges of grief. These readings are not meant to be read certain days of the week or even in order. Each reading is anchored to a relevant passage of Scripture, a key verse, and a closing prayer. I encourage you to begin each day's reading by first reflecting on God's Word. Then read through the devotion before praying and asking God how the Scripture passage applies to your life. The prayer is a starting point for a time of conversation with God—the One who knows and the One who cares. —Timothy J. Beals, editor |
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