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"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:17-18) A few weeks ago, everything was going wrong. My depression was at an all-time high, my OCD was affecting my life negatively, and I felt too anxious to actually get anything done. I felt nobody understood me, which only caused me to feel more alone. I went on a walk, put some music on, and tried to distract myself from the many voices screaming in my head: "You should be doing better!" "You're not trying hard enough!" "Nobody likes you!" "You will never be enough!" These voices kept swirling around in my head and I felt like I was going to break. Did I wait a few minutes in the street when I should have crossed? Maybe, but I had hit the point where I didn't want to live—again. I have been to this place many times, so I wasn't surprised, but I was disappointed in myself. Through hundreds of sessions of therapy and endless hours of trying to appreciate the hard work I put into work, family life, and friendships, I thought maybe I wasn't going to find myself in this place again. Yet, here I was again. I kept walking after a car nearly hit me. The horn blew and the driver yelled at me, but in the aftermath of this event, I felt ashamed. I felt ashamed that I have struggled with suicidal thoughts for so long, and I feel I should be more advanced than where I am today. If only I was more like someone else I wouldn't be having this problem, or maybe if my parents put more time into me, maybe I wouldn't be this way now. | 
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