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Connecting in the Heat of the Moment
By: Amanda Idleman Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. - Colossians 3:12 At all times in our marriages, we need to connect heart-to-heart, which means connecting emotionally before anything else. Have you ever had an argument that started only because your spouse offered too many "solutions" to your problem? Usually, for me, this looks like my husband jumping in to explain the "right" approach to a situation before I've even got the end of my lament. Rather than seeing the wisdom of his words, a brawl erupts because I interpret his "helpfulness" as another reason I am wrong in my already stressed state. We all hit this wall from time to time because most couples struggle to acknowledge that you have to connect heart-to-heart because mixing heart-to-head just doesn't work. It's the same principle that is at work when you try to reason with a mad and crying two-year-old; they can't hear you because their brains are stuck in emotion mode. You have to help them calm down before you can talk to them about the reasons why certain boundaries exist. Unfortunately, our bodies grow but our brain doesn't change much in this regard. We may not cry and scream when we are feeling overwhelmed (although it's not entirely out of the question). Nonetheless, we need our spouses to connect with us emotionally, help us sort through our emotions first before looking for logical solutions. | 
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