Praying for a Job for Your Adult Child |
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| I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My loving eye on you. — Psalm 32:8 |
I can't tell you how many parents, when they heard I was working on this book, let me know they had a story to share. I was excited to interview them, but I had to laugh when I realized that at least two-thirds of the stories were variations on the same theme: praying for your child to get a job. Everyone who has ever had an adult child has, apparently, been down this sometimes long and winding road. One mom told me how frustrated she had become after her son batted away one job lead after another, since they just didn't seem to fit his "work/life balance." (I thought she was kidding, but then I found out it's a real thing, that today's graduates really are looking for jobs that come complete with a gym membership, Friday happy hours, and even — since I guess they are waiting longer to have children — things like health insurance for their pets. Seriously.) Another said her daughter didn't want to work "in a cubicle, like Dad." And a third shared her son's Goldilocks-style journey through everything from starting a business to playing in a rock band, until (and I think this is a brilliant idea) her husband invited a group of older men to serve as an advisory board in the young man's life — a move that ultimately opened the door to a "just right" career in television. I'd go on, but you get the idea. Plenty of kids need to figure out what to do with their lives, and plenty of parents are praying. And I'll admit it. I didn't expect to have to pray so hard about my own kids' jobs — and I said as much to author Paula Rinehart when the two of us had lunch together one day. I'd just finished reading her Strong Women, Soft Hearts, and I'd loved what she'd said about trust. "Trust," Paula had written, "hangs somewhere between knowing what your heart longs for and trying to dictate the shape or timing or outcome of your heart's desire. It lies in the willingness to accept the particulars of how and when and where God chooses to intervene. It waits in the cool shade of surrender."1 The cool shade of surrender. I liked that image, but I was nowhere near to experiencing it. Instead, I was working up a sweat over things like timing and outcomes in Hillary's life. "Hillary doesn't have a job," I confided over lunch. "She is back home and living in her bedroom — she's one of those boomerang kids — and she seems content." "She only graduated three months ago," Paula countered. "Trust me; she is probably not content. She's an engineer — they think in linear terms. She is pursuing a job; she's just not doing it the way you would." |
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We can make all the plans we want — and so can our kids — but God is the one who directs our path. |
We can make all the plans we want — and so can our kids — but God is the one who directs our path. |
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| Well, she had that one right. Hillary was definitely not looking for a job the way I would have. I would have loaded my résumé into the barrel of a shotgun and pulled the trigger, splattering my education and experience all over any company that was hiring. But Hillary was a little more particular. She graduated with a degree in mechanical and aerospace engineering, and she wanted to be an astronaut. It was a dream she had since the fifth grade, and if she couldn't actually wear a space suit, she at least wanted to do something with rockets. At first, I shared Hillary's enthusiasm. "Provide the job you have ordained for her," I wrote in my prayer journal. "Fill her life so full of blessing that she will not be able to contain it! Let her joy be complete."2 That's a good, biblically based prayer for any new graduate. And I wish I could say that my positive attitude continued, and that I had the faith to believe that God puts desires in our hearts that He wants to fulfill. (He does. Psalm 37:4. I'm just saying I wish I would have had the faith to truly believe that.) I wish I could say I had taken Paula's words to heart and waited in "the cool shade of surrender." And I wish I could tell you I stood by my daughter, loving her and supporting her and letting her live at home with us, rent-free, as spring rolled into summer, and summer turned to fall, never once resenting the fact that she had polished off the last of the Starbucks K-Cups. But I didn't. I didn't do any of the good-mother things I should have. |
Prayer Principle If we want to pray with faith, we must anchor our requests in God's promises. Instead, I spent the better part of a year grappling with fear, frustration, and even anger. And if that's where you are in your own child's job-hunting season, can I just say this one thing? Don't beat yourself up. Give your worries to God, and remember that His grace is sufficient to cover all your mistakes, and His power is made perfect in your weakness.3 Hold on to that promise — and to others — because when discouragement and fear try to creep in and cripple our confidence, the Bible is the anchor for our hope. I like how author and prayer expert R. A. Torrey put it: "If I am to have faith when I pray, I must find some promise in the Word of God on which to rest my faith."4 I hesitate to tell this story (it does not make me look good), but since we're all in this parenting thing together, I'll go ahead. Maybe you'll find some helpful prayer prompts. Or maybe you'll just read it and be glad you're not me. Either way, here goes! I was really proud of Hillary for academic accomplishments (she had gotten an A+ in Spacecraft Design), and I looked forward to seeing how God would use her education in the real world. But then, as one after another of her peers landed jobs with important-sounding companies, I felt the first crack in my confidence. Had she missed the hiring window? Were there no space-ish jobs to be had? Or maybe it was the reverse. Hillary would be the first to admit that decision making is not her strong suit, and I began to fear that she hadn't gotten a job because maybe there were just too many interesting choices. The ink on her diploma was still wet, and I was already starting to panic. "Don't You realize how late it is?" I cried out to God. "Don't You think it's time to step in and do something?" Continue reading on the blog… Excerpted with permission from Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children by Jodie Berndt, copyright Jodie Berndt. * * * |
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If you're in a season of launching your graduate into adult life maybe you're experiencing the frustration of waiting for your child to find a job, too. Why not spend that time in prayer, specific prayer and surrender? We would love to hear who you're praying for and what you're praying. Come share with us! We want to hear from you! ~ Devotionals Daily |
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"We don't stop worrying about our children when they become adults..." But we can learn to give them to God. |
Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children: Trusting God with the Ones You Love |
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As parents of adult children, we often worry about whether our children will make good choices when they're on their own. Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children provides you with biblically based prayers and encouraging stories to guide you as you pray for your adult children through anything they face. Parent and author Jodie Berndt understands what it's like to release children into the world and still care deeply about them and everything they're up against in life. In Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children, Jodie shares prayers designed with your adult children in mind, whether they're just leaving the nest, flying well on their own, or struggling to take off at all. Jodie shares advice on navigating all aspects of adulthood with encouraging stories from experienced parents who are praying their children through real-life issues like leaving the church, struggling with health concerns, navigating broken marriages, fighting addiction, dealing with financial problems, and more. |
What our readers are saying |
"This is a wonderful prayer guide to lead me through life experiences our children battle! It's been a daily go to for me since I purchased it!" — Joni B. |
"It really has helped me pray more effectively for not only my adult child but for others as well. Great book and I would recommend it to anyone who wants a closer walk with Jesus." — Bonnie M. |
"IThis book is wonderful. I feel it is really helping me to know how to pray for my daughter. I'm learning where I need to be patient or just put the issues in God's hands. This book is helping me see more in the scriptures and how they can apply to our lives than I've ever seen before. I highly recommend this book." — Angela G. |
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| Praying the Scriptures for Your Children |
In this updated and expanded edition celebrating the twentieth anniversary of a modern classic, you will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God's provision--and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! |
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| Praying the Scriptures for Your Teens |
Prayer can be your greatest asset and source of wisdom in raising teenagers in today's world. Now expanded, this book features updated content on issues like pornography, addiction, self-harm, anxiety, rebellion, technology use, dealing with disappointment, and more. |
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| Praying the Scriptures for Your Life |
Taking you on a 31-day journey rooted in Christ's words in John 15, Praying the Scriptures for Your Life will help you find guidance and peace as you pray through life's trickiest issues, from relationships to finances to what to do with the pain of unanswered prayer. Discover how Scripture can be experienced, not just read! |
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Building a Resilient Life Online Bible Study |
Building a Resilient Life Online Bible Study |
"Adversity awakens. It awakens us from our comfort and our numbing. It awakens us to what we are capable of. It awakens us to what's worth fighting for. It awakens us to what it means to follow Christ." - Rebekah Join the free Building a Resilient Life Online Bible Study by Rebekah Lyons and get access to 5 weeks of study videos, plus some other great free resources to help you build a resilient and flourishing life, no matter what form of adversity comes your way. See you there? |
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