Boundaries: Guard Your Heart |
Today's inspiration comes from: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend | |
| We were created to be who God designed us to be, to love who God calls us to love, and to accomplish what God tasks us to accomplish. That is the secret to a fruitful and fulfilled life, with great relationships and a deep sense of purpose. Unfortunately, we all encounter obstacles which can distract, or even paralyze us, from that great life God had planned. Some of the most difficult obstacles are the inability to say no, confront, and establish consequences in relationships when you need to. There are a number of examples of this sort of problem: - A child who doesn't do homework or clean up after herself
- A husband who controls his marriage by getting angry when his wife disagrees with him
- An employee who is defensive about poor performance, and becomes "unconfrontable"
- A boss who intimidates her employees by being critical of those who speak up about problems in the organization
These obstacles can sap your energy, get you off track, discourage you and even damage you emotionally. Most of us know how this can feel, and it's not a good place to be. The Bible presents a solution, which, in a word, is called boundaries. Boundaries are your personal property line, where you set out where you end, and where the other person begins. They help you own your time, energy, resources and money, and decide for yourself what to do with them. Boundaries help you determine when to say yes, and how to say no. Yet so many people feel guilty about having boundaries, or that the Bible teaches us not to have them. Proverbs 4:23 is a wonderful verse which teaches on a very rich level, how boundaries can help us. Let's take a look: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. |
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Boundaries are your personal property line, where you set out where you end, and where the other person begins. |
Boundaries are your personal property line, where you set out where you end, and where the other person begins. |
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This is a great encapsulation of the why and the how of boundaries. Here is the breakdown of the passage, not in the exact word order, but in a linear flow for you: - Your heart: Your heart is the core of who you are, your insides, literally the "inner person." The word refers to all of the contents that reside in your brain. That includes your values, thoughts, opinions, feelings and decisions. If you have ever experienced "losing heart", when you become discouraged or demotivated, it is often because you either allowed someone to take your time or energy, or because you allowed someone inside your heart who had no business being there, and the result was that there was hurt and damage.
- Everything you do flows from it: Why is your heart so important? Because your entire life's path depends on how healthy your heart is. All of your actions, how you treat yourself, how you engage in your relationships with God and others, and the impact you make on the world, is directed by what happens in your heart. For example, leaders who reflect on their careers will often look back on matters of the heart as being tipping points that changed the trajectory of their lives. Think of it from the health perspective. If you take care of your body and eat right, exercise and sleep well, you are likely to have a healthy body for a long time. But neglecting or abusing your body can easily result in sickness and dysfunction. Your heart is simply critical to living life in God's way.
- Guard: literally, to protect. In other words, watch over your inner self, and keep it from harm. I love the fact that God put this specific word in this specific place! That is the role of a boundary, whether it be the word "no", a difficult confrontation or some limit you need to set in a relationship. So often, people think that saying "no" and taking responsibility to guard yourself is selfish and "all about me." But we have been entrusted with the task of guarding this most precious gift of God. I often tell people to change the "S" from Selfishness to Stewardship, for that is how the Bible teaches it.
- Above all else: All 30,000 verses of the Bible are, by definition, from God. So when you see the words "above all else" in the Scriptures, that's a highlighter, meaning, "pay attention, this is a priority." So often we think that saying no to preserve our hearts should be unimportant. But God instructs us that this is a critical and life-preserving stance to take.
This is just one of so many passages that teach us that clear and loving boundaries are a tool for good in our lives. Pray over this verse and ask God to guide you to the right boundary that you need to establish today. For more information on the topic, read the Updated and Expanded edition of Boundaries by me and Dr. Henry Cloud. God bless you. |
Written for Devotionals Daily by Dr. John Townsend, author with Henry Cloud of Boundaries. * * * |
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Do you struggle with the inability to say no, confront, and establish consequences in relationships when you need to? How does that affect your life? We all desire to have fruitful and fulfilled lives and God's Word says guarding our heart is the primary way to achieve those goals! Come share your thoughts about healthy, biblical boundaries. We want to hear from you! ~ Devotionals Daily |
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Set healthy boundaries and take control of your life |
Boundaries Bundle: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life |
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This exclusive bundle has everything you need to help you establish boundaries to help you thrive and become the best version of yourself! What's included in this bundle: Boundaries (Softcover) Do you feel like your life has spiraled out of control? Have you focused so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits? Do you find yourself taking responsibility for other people's feelings and problems? In Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you the ins and outs of setting the boundaries that will transform your daily life. Boundaries Workbook This companion guide to Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provides practical readings and prompts that will encourage you and teach you how to set healthy, necessary boundaries with your parents, spouse, children, friends, bosses, coworkers, social media, and more in order to help you become the best version of yourself. |
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Since it was first published, Boundaries has supported millions of people around the world as they discover the importance of understanding their limitations and upholding their boundaries. In this updated and expanded edition of Boundaries, Drs. Cloud and Townsend answer the most common questions they've received in more than thirty years that they've studied the science behind establishing boundaries: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
- What are legitimate boundaries?
- How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn't control me?
- What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
- How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
- Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
- How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
- Aren't boundaries selfish?
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A closer look at the workbook |
Following the latest edition of Boundaries chapter-by-chapter, these interactive exercises are designed to help you take a closer look at your own life and ask yourself: - What if the boundaries I set hurt the other person?
- Why is it difficult for me to hear no from others?
- What are examples of legitimate boundaries I can set at work and at home?
- How can I have good boundaries online and with social media?
- Can I stay connected while still setting boundaries with my phone?
Boundaries Workbook gives you the support and the Scripture you need to help others respect your boundaries--whether you want to improve your work-life balance or you're practicing saying no when someone asks you to volunteer for one more activity. |
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