I found this startling research published in the Harvard Business Review: "People who are prone to guilt tend to work harder and perform better than people who are not guilt-prone, and are perceived to be more capable leaders."1
Does that mean that guilt is a good thing? You do need some guilt. If you have never experienced guilt, it could be a sign you are a sociopath or have narcissistic personality disorder, making you one of those rare people who are incapable of feeling guilt or regret.
There are actually two types of guilt. There is the healthy kind that comes from the Holy Spirit. It is intended to lead us to repentance and a return to God's plan for our life. Once we respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, that guilt is gone and replaced by God's peace and joy.
The other type of guilt is often called false guilt. That's when you have feelings of guilt even though you haven't done anything wrong. Or maybe you did do something wrong but have already fixed it and asked God to forgive you — and yet you still feel guilty.
- False guilt can affect any area of your life and keep you trapped in an unhealthy place if you don't do something about it.
Maybe a friend is having marriage problems and they ask if you will come over and talk with them in the morning. But you have to work, so you apologize and ask if there is another time you can get together. They get angry and tell you to forget it, and a week later you hear they split up. Now you are struggling with these feelings of guilt, even though you didn't do anything wrong!
People driven by false guilt feel they have to do everything perfectly so they don't disappoint others. I've heard it said that if false guilt were a chariot, then fear of disapproval from others is the whip upon the back of the horses pulling it. That fear can cause you to picture the worst possible scenario to your problem. It will consume your thoughts and cause you to judge yourself inaccurately and too harshly.
False guilt can also be caused by the feeling that you are responsible to save everyone that crosses your path or asks for help. Psychologists often refer to this as a savior complex. You might sacrifice your own personal needs or overextend yourself to help others because you think you are the only one who can do it.
There can be many other reasons for your false guilt, but the most likely reason is that the devil is accusing you. Revelation talks about how Satan was a fallen angel and thrown out of Heaven.
This great dragon — the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world — was thrown down to the earth with all his angels. Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens… For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth — the one who accuses them before our God day and night. — Revelation 12:9-10, emphasis mine
The devil is a spirit and therefore has the ability to plant thoughts in your head (1 Timothy 4:1). We call it spiritual warfare because Satan always has a one-two punch. He first hits you with a temptation and then quickly hits you a second time with an accusation. Let's say he tempts you to cheat on your taxes. You dodge the first swing by resisting the temptation. But Satan then throws his second punch by whispering in your ear, "You are a terrible Christian to have thoughts of cheating on your taxes!" If you believe his lies, the guilt will eat away at you. Jesus said the devil is a liar and the father of lies.
- Satan doesn't want you to experience God's peace; he wants you to live under the weight of guilt.
This type of guilt is self-destructive and abusive. It will do harm to your relationship with God, with others, and with yourself. It puts a heavy burden on your back, a burden you were never intended to shoulder. Which is why Peter said,
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you. — 1 Peter 5:7
Compare the misery from false guilt to the beneficial nature of healthy guilt, or what is often referred to as godly sorrow. It's that sense of sadness you experience as a result of the sins you have committed. Paul explains it best:
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. — 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 NIV
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