I Am and I Will
By Tiffany Thibault So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10 I walked into the house and over to the kitchen. I dropped the car keys and my purse on the counter, crossing over to the sink to get a drink of water. My legs collapsed under me and I sank to the ground. There was a loud whooshing sound in my ears. My heart was beating so hard that I thought it would break my chest wide open. I drew my knees up to me and wrapped my arms around my legs, gasping for breath. I do not know how long I sat there on the tile floor, but I know that it was a very long time. As my heart began to slow to a regular beat and I was able to take a normal breath of air, I slowly stood to my feet. Time seemed to have stood still in my heart and mind, so I was surprised to see that the early winter sunset had arrived. Time had passed without me having any knowledge of it. I realized that this had been a panic attack. Earlier that day I had kissed my husband goodbye as he left to board a plane. He was being deployed to Iraq. He was being sent there to serve our country, to be in an area where our contact would be very limited. I knew he had to go, but it was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. I tried to control my thoughts as I was in the midst of that panic attack, trying to gain control over my fears. I was absolutely terrified that I would never see my husband again, that I would have to raise our daughter alone. As I sat on that cold tile floor, with my arms wrapped around my legs, I focused very hard on telling myself the truth with each struggling breath. I was not alone. God was with me. God promises to "Never leave me nor forsake me" (Deut 31:6) and "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13) | 
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